


Philinda Missing Scenes - Season 2 Edition

by suallenparker



Series: Su's Philinda Missing Scenes [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, hints of romance, missing scenes of season 2, spoilers for the whole thing!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8175751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suallenparker/pseuds/suallenparker
Summary: Missing Philinda moments from every episode of Season 2First Scene: Shadows (2x01):The one in which they make a deal





	1. Shadows (2x01)

**Author's Note:**

> I started this in 2015 but got distracted during that summer (real life stuff). But now my life sorted itself out for the most ugliest parts and 4x02 was SO good, I just want to roll around in Philinda again.  
> The first 10 scenes were written in 2015 and are already posted on my Tumblr. Since I want to add to them, I thought I'd catch up my AO3 account. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which they make a deal

Her stomach cramps as she looks at the wall. The carvings are all over it. The floor in front of it is covered in dust. It started. Ten minutes ago he came to her room and asked him to follow her.

Oh God.

Her eyes burn. She wants to roll up and cry. But she won’t.

She swallows and turns to him.

Phil stands next to her. His arms dropped to his sides, his shoulders lowered and his head hung. He looks so tired. His feet are bare, he’s wearing his pajamas. She wants to hug him. She wants to pack things up and run with him to somewhere safe. To somewhere where she can protect him. But it’s his brain who’s causing this and there’s nowhere they could run to. Nowhere to hide.

She needs to focus on the task. He needs her to be strong, she can see. She feels defeated and terrified. She might lose him, he might die and- No. She bites her lip. She can’t go there.

“Okay,” she says, clenching her fists.

He lifts his head and squints at her.

She takes a deep breath. “We can handle this.” Her voice is shaky. “We can deal with this.” She swallows down her tears and nods. “From now on we’re in this together.”

His eyes widen. He presses his lips together. He’s scared. She’s too. It started. She’s terrified. Her heart races as if she’s on the run.

“From now on I’ve got you,” she says. Oh God. This is killing her. She feels nauseous. She looks back at the wall. If she looks at him any longer, she’ll break down. “From now on you’ll avoid field work and check in with me every few days.”

He doesn’t say anything, she can hear him breathe next to her. She wants to touch him so badly. She wants to tell him she loves him. So very much. Because life can be so very short. But she doesn’t. He doesn’t need her love. He needs her strength.

So she straightens up and turns to him again. “Okay?” she asks.

With his lips pressed together, he nods.


	2. Bonus: Shadows (2x01)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they define field work

Mack just packed up Captain Talbot to bring him to his car and to the location they agreed on. Phil assumes he has about fifteen minutes until he can start his next phase. He’s alone in his office now, but Koenig should join him every moment. When it knocks on the door, he suspects it’s him. But it’s May.

“Shouldn’t you be on your way to a secret base?” he asks with a grin.

“Are you sure about this?” she asks.

Because of course she’s worried about him. He hates that. Almost as much as he hates keeping things from her.

He tilts his head and widens his grin. Time to put on another show of ’ _Phil Coulson is perfectly fine_ ’. “Impersonating someone on the phone isn’t real field work,” he says, “Physically it’ll be easy and mentally I’ll handle it like a prank call.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sometimes you’re a little over dramatic.”

He chuckles. “Sometimes?”

“Most times.”

He gasps. “You take that back!”

She grins. “See you later.”

“Bring me back a plane!”


	3. Heavy is the Head (2x02)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the clean up

Dust hangs in the air. His hands hurt. His neck, his arms, his shoulders hurt. The wall's covered with carvings. When he's in movement with the knife in his hand, they make perfect sense. He knows exactly what to do, every line, ever circle comes natural. But now it's over and he's just tired. He bites his lip and turns around to prepare the cement.

He can't hear the camera. It's a digital model. It doesn't make mechanical sounds. But he knows May's still taking pictures. She always does when he finishes. Then he hears her move. Hears the legs of a chair scratch over the floor, hears her sitting down. After every session she uploads the photos onto a protected space on the computer system in his office. She sighs. She must be tired too. He knows she is. Tired and worried.

She's suffering too. She tries to hide it, but he can see. He wishes he could take this from her. He wishes he could protect her, but all he can do is pull himself together as long as possible and pick himself up again as soon as he can.

The cement's ready. He stretches himself, hands on his back. They're not done yet. May doesn't look at him as she puts away the tripod. He's grateful for that. He hates that she has to see him like this. He hates that he needs her.

Ironic. When he came to get her to join his team – the team she prepared for him – he thought he could be her strength. He thought he could save her. Now he's her greatest burden.

Two bottles of water in hand, May walks up to him and gives him one. The right corner of her mouth twitches up and she touches his elbow before she pulls away.

“We need to talk about what's after this,” he says and opens his bottle. His voice's raspy.

May opens her bottle and drinks. He drinks too. He's always thirty afterwards. She always gives him water and she always refuses to talk. Today's the same.

“I mean it, May,” he says. She takes the bottle from him and puts both on the desk, before she grabs a scraper.

He sighs. He's too tired to fight her now. But he won't stop. He can't. He wants her to be prepared. He wants to help her make plans. He feels like he's abandoning all of them. Letting her down hurts the most.

They cover up the carvings in silence. They've gotten good at this. It's two a.m. when they're done.

May takes care of the cement and the tools. The foil is his duty.

Dust flies up as he folds together the foil and he flutters his eyelids. He's so very tired. When he's done, he puts it into a plastic bag. The air conditioner will take care of the rest of the dust.

She waits for him at the door, massaging her left temple with two fingers. He wants to hug her. He wants to apologize. But if he starts with any of that, he won't stop. Because he doesn't want to let her go and because he'll have to. He pulled her into this far too deep already. So he doesn't apologize. he doesn't touch her. He doesn't call her by her first name. Melinda. He loves Melinda. She deserves as much distance as he can give her.

He follows her outside and lets her lead him to his room.

 


	4. Bonus: Heavy is the Head (2x02)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the eggs

She doesn't feel useless anymore. If she can just get him through this alive, it'll be her redemption. Last night he carved. He fought so hard. It was heartbreaking to watch him crumble. Everything about this is heartbreaking.

Today she makes scrambled eggs and toast. Those carving sessions always leave him hungry the next day. And she likes to be prepared. This she can do for him.

He has secrets, she knows that. He's keeping things and he's ashamed. She understands. After Bahrain she was too ashamed to look at anyone. Too ashamed to tell him what happened. She wishes he would allow her in. She would never turn from him. Never.

It's still early, not even six and they had a long night yesterday. She knows he's be awake regardless. When she knocks at his door, eggs, toast and two cups of tea on a tray, he opens within moments.

First he looks at her with concern, then he sees the tray and relaxes just for a split-second. And goes back to concern.

“I can make eggs,” she says. Just for that she should smack him.

“If you say so …”

So ungrateful! She glares at him. “Gonna let me in?”

Smiling, he gestures her to follows her inside. She puts the tray on the middle of the bed and they both sit sideways from it.

He takes a cup of tea and takes a sip. His lips form into a smile. “This is good!”

She smiles. They both know she makes great tea. She takes a plate of eggs and buttered toast and forks up some egg. It's decent enough. Not too salty like the last time she tried it. The chives in it give it a fresh flavor and made her feel like a real cook while she chopped them.

He watches her eat.

She swallows and takes another bite.

“You okay?” he asks.

She glares at him again. “Eat!”

And he does.

 


	5. Making Friends and Influencing People (2x03)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the orders

He's keeping too many secrets for a man losing his marbles. Time to get some things cleared.

He calls Melinda on her cell. “May, could you please come to my office?”

“Be right there.”

Such a good solider. He hates having her in the middle of this.

He carved two days ago. And he wants to carve again. He wants to carve so badly, his fingers itch. And he's so scared. Less and less time passes before that craving returns. He's losing his mind. He knows he doesn't sleep enough. He tries to eat healthy but with all the work he has to do, he forgets sometimes. Especially when he's traveling.

When she enters his office, she takes one look at him, before she says, “I'm getting the camera.”

She's so smart. He clenches his fingers. “No, that's not why …” He sighs and presses his lips together.

She stops in her movements and looks at him.

“I can handle it,” he says. “We need to talk.”

“Phil …”

Every time she uses his first name, it hurts. As much as he wants her close, it would just hurt her. He's time is so obviously limited. He swallows hard. “I need you to keep to your original orders.”

“Excuse me?”

“I need you to take the shot like Fury asked you to.”

“Is that all?”

“I need you to promise me to shoot me.”

He expected her to just promise him. She's strong like that. She's the only one he trusts. Maybe she'd argue with him, try to save him, because that's the sort of person she is. A real hero.

But she doesn't.

“I need to repair a plane,” she says, before she just walks out.

Then again, he should've anticipated that. He wishes he'd have the luxury of letting her run from this. He wishes he could flee with her.

His hand trembles.

 


	6. Bonus: Making Friends and Influencing People (2x03)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene might not fit perfectly with canon because I wrote it right after the ep aired and had to speculate a bit. I still like it a lot so I couldn't bring myself to leave it out. I hope you enjoy it. :)

The kitchen is one of the perks of being director. His own kitchen. It's small, just a fridge, a stove, a small oven, a sink and two cupboards on one wall. Two chairs and a small table on the other complete it. No window, of course. But he put up some abstract art. The paintings looks like smooth, colorful clouds. No lines, no edges. Nothing that reminds him of the carvings. His own safe space where nobody can witness his shaking hands when things get bad. Nobody but May.

“How's Skye?” he asks when she joins him in the kitchen.

“Worried about Simmons,” she says and walks up next to him.

He's too. But that isn't what he meant. Skye killed someone today.

“She can handle herself,” May says. “Simmons can too.”

Yeah. They can all handle themselves. They're all professionals. He feels her gaze on his hands. But tonight his hands are stable as he slices the tomatoes and he's glad she came here. He hoped she would, that's why he's cooking. The tomatoes are ready so he adds them and the grated parmesan to the risotto on the stove.

She takes in a breath. “Smells great,” she says.

He smiles. She loves risotto, that's why he's making it. He stirs everything. Maybe a minute more and he can serve. He adds pepper and nutmeg and stirs again.

“Could you pour the wine?” he asks.

May turns to the table. “You expected me.”

He grins. He set the table before he started cooking. Five minutes ago he draped the fresh rocket leaves on the two plates.

“Made an educated guess,” he says. She usually checks up on him when he stays here, especially when they just finished a mission. She usually leaves just as quickly as she came, but tonight he wants her to stay.

She walks past him and gets the wine out of the fridge. The bottle's open already. Always cook with the best ingredients … He glances and catches her smiling as she reads the label.

Another one of her favorites. He spoils her as much as he can. He spoils them all every chance he gets. Time's precious and he doesn't know how long he has to take care of them. Another reason for this dinner.

She pours the wine and sits down. He takes the finished risotto from the stove and carries it over to the table, where he places it on the wooden board he had placed in the middle of table.

“I cooked for Simmons,” he says and spoons a generous portion of chicken tomato risotto on her plate, before he helps himself to some. “She lives like a college student. No food in her fridge, just condiments and beer.” He looks at May. “I made her eat kale.”

“Simmons loves kale,” she says.

“Not enough to buy them herself.” He sighs and sits down. He forks up some rice, but waits to taste the dish until May's mouth closes around her first bite. Her eyes close and she smiles. That's it. Her shoulders relax.

It's time.

“About the plan,” he says.

Her eyes fly open and she straightens up. Her whole body tenses. He hates this.

“We have to talk about it at some point,” he says. Because as much as he hates this, it's the truth.

“I'm gonna teach Skye how to cook,” she says without looking at him. “Knife skills are important and I want her to know more than to just take lives with it.”

“May, I'm serious. We need to make a plan, we need -”

“Not hungry any more.” She puts her fork down.

He reaches over and catches her hand. He hasn't touched her like this for a while, but this is important.

“Please.” He has to know she'll do this for him. He has to know she'll take care of things once he no longer can. He has to know she'll be okay.

She looks at him. Her eyes are wide open, her lips pressed together. “Phil,” she whispers then.

She's asking for a break, he realizes. She looks so very tired.

He swallows and pulls his hand back, before he nods. Tonight they'll take a break. He needs one too.

“You think she'll learn to cook?” he asks and clears his throat. “She can't even boil an egg.” He takes a bite and the risotto is delicious.

May takes a breath and picks up the fork again. “I taught you, didn't I?”

He snorts. “What's that supposed to mean?”

She grins. “So far you poisoned nobody by accident.”

“But I was a natural.”

This time, she snorts. This feels good. He breathes easier. She was right. They both need this. He forks up a piece of chicken.

“Just don't believe I'll play guinea pig to Skye's cooking skills.”

“We'll see,” she says. And he gets the feeling that the next time he'll stay around the playground longer, she'll make him eat Skye's cooking experiments.

He sighs. “But I won't anything fishy,” he says. Seriously, there could go so much wrong if one didn't know how to prepare fish.

“You love salmon,” she says.

He does. He sighs again. Heavily.

Her smile brightens. “Just trust me.”

And of course he does.

 


	7. Face my Enemy (2x04)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one about bare feet.

He waits for her at the ground and helps her to a soft landing, which is unnecessary, but sweet. They touched more today than during two months before. And he was right. She liked the dancing. She loved touching him like this, not to comfort or to protect, but just to feel close and to enjoy each other's company.

Now they walk over the grass of the lawn in front of the hotel they just escaped out, holding hands. He's pulling her with him. She'd like to take point but she doesn't know where he parked that car. Or where fake!Melinda parked the car, for that matter. They have so much to talk about …

She flinches when she steps on a branch. He glances at her over his shoulder. Even in the dim light, she can see his frown. They make it to the pavement and he pulls her to the left. Five more steps and they're next to the car.

She reaches out her hand. “Keys?”

“In your purse.” He sighs.

Brilliant! She presses her lips together. They don't have enough time to break into their car and she doesn't have the necessary tools to do it anyway and – That's when Phil crashes in the window at the drivers seat with his elbow. Which should be impossible as they use bullet proof glass for their cars.

Phil shrugs. “One good thing about budget cuts,” he says. And she remembers that the glass got damaged at Trip's last mission, but that they didn't have bullet proof glass to replace it with. So Mack used regular as a quick fix.

Phil reaches inside and pulls the spare keys from beneath the front seat. His index finger bleeds. Damn splinters. They need to have conversation about car thefts and safety precautions, but right now she's grateful

“I'm driving,” he says. “You get to sit in the back.”

She snorts and tries to move past him, but he grabs her arm.

“You're bare feet,” he says, “and there're glass splinters all over the front. So you'll sit in the back.”

She lifts her head. “I'm the better driver.”

“I'm the one wearing shoes.”

He won't budge, she can see. And they're running out of time. Glaring at him, she walks around the car and gets into the back while he settles into the drivers seat and starts the car. Not one moment too soon, because two unmarked dark SUVs drive up to them from behind. And then they start shooting.

Crap, crap, crap!

“Seatbelt!” he says.

He gotta be kidding! She has her seatbelt fastened before he even finished the word.

Her driving would be more elegant, though his does the trick just as well. Takes them five minutes to chase of their tail and they'll have to replace the back window, but eventually he stops at a red light. They're safe. For a moment it's quiet.

She wraps her arms around herself. He glances at her through the back mirror and she knows he's gonna ask about the plan now. He takes of his seatbelt. Does he really want to do this here?

“I know you're basically superwoman,” he says as he slips out of his jacket, “and I know you just defeated another superwoman whilst being half dressed and bare feet but … you look cold.” He shakes out his jacket and turns to her.

“Here,” he says and hands the jacket to her.

She can't help but smile. This man, really! “Thank you,” she says. She feels warmer now.

He grins. “You're welcome.”

Then he turns back around. The light switched to green, somebody honks behind them and Phil raises a hand apoplectically before he drives off.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yes.” She wraps the jacked over her shoulders. It smells like him. “You?”

“I'm not the one who got abducted and cloned.”

She can hear the smile in his voice. “I didn't get cloned.”

“The idea of evil twin Melinda May terrifies me,” he says.

She rolls her eyes. She thinks he'll add something, but he doesn't. He just drives and turns on the heater.

 


	8. Bonus: Face my Enemy (2x04)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they dance again.

He hides the paperclip he was bending in his palm, when she enters his office. Of course he can't fool her. She looks at him and he feels caught. She knows him so well. Sometimes he takes comfort in it, sometimes he wishes things were different. He knows she's suffering with him. She tries to hide it, but he sees. He knows her too. He just wishes he could spare her. He just wishes he wouldn't have to ask her to shoot him in the head.

He wishes he could make this easier on her. He wishes they could just vanish together. Yesterday he told her his plan. He told her what he needed her to do. Whom he needed her to be. And she just sat there and nodded, with her lips pressed together. Then she left.

She would never shoot him in the head … Her face when she said this! - He hates that she's stuck with him. He hates it. But she's the only one he trusts.

She glances at his hand.

“I can hold it in longer,” he says quickly. “It's not that bad.”

“Your hands are trembling.”

They are. Even wrapped around that darn paperclip, they tremble. He smiles at her anyway.

“It's not that bad,” he repeats.

Tilting her head, she raises a brow. She's not believing him. And he wants to carve so very badly. This is so bad. He swallows hard.

She walks to the record player and a moment later, instrumental music starts playing. A rumba.

“Dance with me,” she says and turns to him.

His mouth falls open. But he recovers quickly and grins. “I knew you liked it!”

She squints at him. “Your hands didn't shake while we danced, that's all.”

“You love dancing, just admit it.”

“One more word and I leave you to your paperclips.”

His grin widens but he keeps quiet and stands up to take her hand. She smiles when his hand comes to rest in hers. The shaking weakened already. He puts his other hand on her hip, she places her on his shoulder. They fit so well and this is so very unfair.

But they dance and for now he feels steady.

 


	9. Bonus: Face my Enemy (2x04)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which they face reality

The expression on her face almost break him. They sit in his office, across from each other around his desk.

He's so selfish when it comes to her. He wishes he'd need her less. He wishes she'd care less about him. It always takes him by surprise how much she cares about him. The hope it brings scares him. He has no room for that.

He feels foolish. She's got such a big heart. Of course this affects her. Of course she suffers. He hates hurting her. He hates not having a solution. And he hates, hates, hates knowing the worst is yet to come.

He's sure she'll have to take him down eventually. She looks so vulnerable right now, he wants to take her in his arms, promise her it'll all be okay and tell her that he loves her.

He wants to go to Australia with her. That cabin sounds heavenly.

He swallows hard. “I need you take over once I'm dead,” he says.

She presses her lips together. He can see her fight her tears.

She nods.

“I only trust you with this,” he says. He said this to fake May, but he needs Melinda to know. He wants to use her first name, but she deserves all the restraint, all the distance he can give her.

She nods again.

She looks totally alone.

He hates having to leave her most.

 


	10. A Hen in the Wolf House (2x05)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which he told Skye

Once Morse is fully debriefed, Phil goes to find May. He wishes they'd still be on their plane and he could just walk into the cockpit and talk to her until she'd get annoyed with him. Things were simple then. At least for him.

She already knew what was ahead of them.

He hasn't talked to Andrew about her yet. Because his feelings for her got nothing to do with him dying, right? He should probably tell her about his therapy. He should tell her so many things. But he's afraid that once he starts he will tell her everything. Absolutely everything.

It's probably a bad idea to seek her out.

When he finds her in the training room, going through a routine of Tai Chi, he feels himself relax. She looks so in control and absolutely serene at the same time. And he can breathe a little easier.

“So Morse and Hunter,” he says. “You think that's a bad idea?”

She continues her routine without even looking at him.

He takes that a sign to elaborate, “Because I think it'll either work out really good or really bad.”

Now she glances at him and gives him a pitiful look.

He grins.

“If they explode, I'm gonna make you clean up that mess,” she says.

His grin widens. Yeah, this is really nice.

 


	11. A fractured House (2x06)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which she’s home and save

She doesn’t say anything, she just comes in and stands in front of his desk, her hands behind her back.

He knows what she’s thinking, anyway. She’s worried. She’s always worried about him. Worse, she’s scared.

“May …” He takes off his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose. His desk is covered in papers and his eyes burn from all the reading. He’s so tired.

But now she’s home and save. Seeing her return is always a relief.

She tilts her head. She’s tired too. “You look terrible,” she says.

He smiles. She has some fresh bruises and most likely a jetleg and she still looks beautiful. She always looks beautiful to him.

With a sigh, she pulls up a chair and sits down across of him before she reaches for some files. She knows what he’s looking for.

They’ve been looking for clues for months now!

They lost so many agents today. Things just seem to get worse every day and he’s losing his mind. How the hell is he supposed to handle this?

He wants to talk to her about this. She’s always the first he wants to talk to about anything. But his carving gets worse, he already feels that he will have to give into the urge again soon.

Australia is nice this time of year. Australia is always lovely.

Yesterday he met with Andrew. If she knew, she would probably turn around and walk right out.

This feels like cheating, but it’s his last straw. He needs someone to talk to and it can’t be her. She’s suffering enough and if he starts talking about one thing, all the other things will come out too.

He’s more controlled with Andrew, he can just keep it to his symptoms. He avoids talking about Melinda. Telling your therapist that you’ve loved his ex wife since before he even met her doesn’t seem wise.

Andrew asked about Melinda during their first session three weeks ago and he kept his answers brief.

He’s still in love with her, that much is obvious. Phil knows that look too well to not recognize it.

If Melinda really has to shoot him, he’s sure that Andrew will be there to support her.

So that’s something.

But until then, she’s here, across from him.

And though it’s all twisted, and though he’s a mess, and though they’re both scared, this still feels good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today was a long but fun day, though I didn’t have much time to write. So instead of a fixer upper for 4x02, I give you this. I hope to finish the fixer upper tomorrow! I have so many feelings about those early episodes of season 2! I hope you enjoyed this tiny scene. If you find the time, please leave a comment? I always love to read from you. :)


End file.
